Yes, I know I said I would be sharing old posts because I’m trying to carve some time for the things I should be doing… (the other things I should be doing) but I’ve wanted to share D. G. Kaye‘s new book for a while and kept thinking that perhaps I’d do it when I read and reviewed one of her books. Realistically I know it will take me some time to get there (my reading list has become all jumbled up, so anything might happen), and I don’t want to deprive the readers who follow my blog from getting started and exploring her books (even if it takes me, personally, a while to get there). D. G. (Debby for her friends and followers) writes non-fiction, some about her travels, menopause, but some that are even more personal, about her relationship with her mother, and this one is very personal indeed.
So here it is.
P.S. I Forgive You by D.G. Kaye
“I hurt for her. She wasn’t much of a mother, but she was still my mother.”
Confronted with resurfacing feelings of guilt, D.G. Kaye is tormented by her decision to remain estranged from her dying emotionally abusive mother after resolving to banish her years ago, an event she has shared in her book Conflicted Hearts. In P.S. I Forgive You, Kaye takes us on a compelling heartfelt journey as she seeks to understand the roots of her mother’s narcissism, let go of past hurts, and find forgiveness for both her mother and herself.
After struggling for decades to break free, Kaye has severed the unhealthy ties that bound her to her dominating mother—but now Kaye battles new confliction, as the guilt she harbors over her decision only increases as the end of her mother’s life draws near. Kaye once again struggles with her conscience and her feelings of being obligated to return to a painful past she thought she left behind.
The End Is Near
My mother had been dying for years, and through those years she refused to surrender her bitterness and remained in denial of her flaws. The many times I heard she was dying reminded me of the boy who cried wolf. I almost believed she was invincible, and even though I never wanted her to suffer, she did.
I thought it was just a horrible and sad way to die—holding hatred for those she had chased out of her life, living in bitter seclusion, knowing her days were numbered. Her once vibrant life had diminished into a mere existence of watching TV and complaining. She’d also given all her caregivers a difficult time, bitching at them all and letting them know how useless they were to her because of what her life had become. Nobody was exempt.
I asked my brother Robby why God didn’t just take her out of her misery and pain during one of the many times she was on the brink of death. Why would he not spare her from suffering? He replied, “God has his own plans.” I couldn’t help but wonder if he was letting her suffer because she had hurt so many people in her lifetime, but in my next thought I couldn’t believe God would play those cruel games, tit for tat.
I wondered what thoughts had to have been going through my mother’s head. How awful it must have been to know her time left on earth was limited. I thought about how frightened she must have felt in her lonely world, although she’d never admit it. I was sad for her, knowing that the anger and bitterness she displayed was a front for the depressed state of her pathetic life. I couldn’t fathom why she remained so obstinate in her resolve to spend what little time she had left wallowing in misery instead of embracing the end and making amends with her children. I wanted to fix her, but I didn’t know how.
Get Your Copy Here! Available on Amazon!
On the occasion of her new book, D. G. Kaye has given a number of interviews that I thought you’d enjoy too. Here I leave you links to them and that way you can go and explore her blog too.
Thanks to Debby for her books, thanks to all of you for reading and if you’ve enjoyed it, you know what to do, like, share, comment and CLICK!